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ä î ∩ ï ≈ ═ N } σ ," h$ ▓& * v, ~. ¡0 ╒2 ∙ ²Fools' Ebony, ²Part the ²Threeth ∙ ÷ ² Dramatis Personae Prologue The Adventurer, A Dark Elf Rascal Komon, A Priest of Akatosh Lheban, Another Priest of Akatosh Epilogue Stete, A Priest of Julianos Raic, Another Priest of Julianos Shub, A Mage Shub, A Different Mage of the Same Name Nephron, A Somewhat Sleazy Merchant 5 Armorers Ortho Crunn, Husband of Millie A Lusty Contessa Millie, Innkeep and Philosopher Gurnsey, Bovine Wench Assorted Wenches and Cads of the Taverns Soldiers Dwarves Giants Part The Threeth - In The Mages' Guild, One to Three Days Later (Enter Prologue) Prologue: We are now at the halfway point of of ÷our disjointed epic. If you are √ just arriving, you have missed √ little. The Adventurer, our rogue √ Dark Elf, has joined with a √ quadripartite (that's a triumvirate √ plus one) of priests intent on √ discovering a burning metal called √ Fools' Ebony and becoming wealthy. √ The priests have given our hero √ some gold for bribing merchants, √ but the only people who know where √ the Fools' Ebony is are the mages ÷√ of the Mages' Guild. As the Epilogue √ pointed out at the end of Part the √ Twoth, there is no such thing as √ Fools' Ebony and real Ebony is not √ mined. Something our playwrite √ apparently did not research. Well, √ accept it as high fantasy, if you √ will. Or whatever. Hark, here √ comes our hero now. Imagine the √ miasma (if that's the word I want) √ of magical elixirs, bubbling √ cauldrons, hovering balls of ÷√ sparkling whatnot. And now, the √ Prologue must depart. (Enter the Adventurer and Shub) Adventurer: Ho! Anyone around? Shub: Over here, young man, in the corner ... Adventurer: Morning. Do I call you ... Shub ..? Shub: Oh yes, Shub is my name, Shub it is ... How on Tamriel did you √ know? Adventurer: Can we have some ... privacy ... I have a somewhat ... er ... delicate matter to discuss ..? Shub: No need for privacy here! We Mages do not hide anything! Adventurer: Fools' Ebony? ÷ Shub: Quick through this door ..! Turn right ... √ Turn left ... Ah ... just let me throw a privacy √ spell around us ... (Loud zap sounds) (Enter Shub) Good! Now Sir -- Oh, by the way, meet √ my fellow Mage, Shub. Shub: Mmmm. Shub: Now, you mentioned Fools' Ebony ..? Adventurer: Well, I fancy myself a bit of an expert in ebony. Had quite a bit come √ and go through my hands in my time, I have ... Shub: We notice that you have an ebony amulet, ÷and an ebony katana -- Of √ Lightning, no less! And an ebony √ belt ... √ ...mmmm... Adventurer: Hands off the toys, gentlemen, please! Shub: Forgive us -- but we so appreciate such fine items ... Shub: ... collect them too ... Adventurer: Well, the other day, just by chance of course, I just happened to hear √ two priests of the Temple of ... er √ ... Stendarr, I think it was ... They √ were a bit high in their cups, I ÷√ think, a bit loud, and never noticed √ me skulking -- I mean, standing -- √ there. They were going on about this √ Fools' Ebony - stuff like the real thing, only no magicka at all. None. But it burns like wood, only longer, √ hotter, no smoke, nice even heat. Shub: Yes ... we have heard similar rumors. Seen a bit of that stuff -- lumps √ from a sack or two that some crazed delver dragged up, that kind of thing. √ Right, Shub? Shub: Oh - Oh yes, right, that kind of thing ... right ... ÷√ (aside) √ I must remember to keep the secret, √ whatever it is. Adventurer: Well, these fool priests seemed to talk as if they knew a location for lots, I mean piles, of that stuff -- √ somewhere up in the Wrothgarians ... Shub and Shub (Together): Where! Who! Did they say? How? When? Where? Shub: You didn't let them know you were listening, did you? Adventurer: Of course not! What do you take me for, a priest lover? Shub: Calm yourself, my lord ... that's better...just don't go fiddling with √ that katana so much. Makes us nervous. ÷ Shub: Yes, nervous, very ... Shub: Here, sit down. There. Want some mulled wine? No? Oh well, just have to finish it √ myself. Shub: So they seemed to know the location. (aside) Hmmmm. This means we have to act fast, √ quickly, speedily, and with great √ rapidity. Adventurer: Oh yes! They were talking like they were going to get a load in a few √ weeks or so ... Shub: Oh My! Oh Dear Me! Ohhh... Shub: Now then. Seems you know a fair amount about this Fools' Ebony. And you ÷√ realize the potential -- just think, √ big warm fires in all our study rooms ... Shub and Shub (Together): ... Selling it to the Palace... selling it to those stupid Alchemists ... the √ Armorer's Guild would be good for a lot ... ... keep out familiars nice and warm ... ... and our posteriors ..! ... just think √ how Daedra Seducers love a nice warm √ fire ... Giving smoldering lumps to the √ peasants to warm their hovels with -- in √ return for some gold, of course ... Shub: ...just think of all that gold... Shub: Trouble is, son - we would like to get that stuff by the cartload, bring it down here ... ÷ Shub: Have some trustworthy merchant ... Shub: Put a spell on him! Shub: ... Have some merchant act as sort of, middleman, for us ... √ Adventurer: But ... then why the delay, gentlemen? Shub: You seem like an honest fellow. We'll tell you -- mind you, you let out a word √ of this, and there will be a Fire Daedra √ in your bed ... but no threats between √ gentlemen, right! Adventurer: Very well -- I shall be the very soul of discretion. Shub: You see, we know where the stuff it, cartloads and cartloads of it. But we ÷√ can't get there and back ... Shub: We are not the outdoorsy types. Shub: Far safer here in town. Shub: Much warmer too. Shub: Think of all the supplies we would have to take. Shub: All those nasty things out there. Shub: Did you know that seducers won't come to us in the wilderness? Shub: We'd have to hire guards, to keep those awful priests away. Shub: And the strain of dealing with all those coarse types ... the √ Merchants. ÷ Shub: The Armorers. Shub: The Royals. Adventurer: Mmm. I think I comprehend. You want some -- experienced explorer-hero type, √ someone used to the wilderness -- to go get it for you, set up a supply line, √ so on ..? Shub: Exactly. And find us a nice, useable merchant. Someone we can control. Shub: With a big, big warehouse, delivery service, that kind of thing ... Adventurer: Well, gentlemen. Let me volunteer my services! I have always admired you Mage √ gentlemen -- so clever, so sharp. No ÷√ fooling you in anything, is there? Shub: No, no fooling us ... (Enter Prologue) Prologue: This, ladies and gentlemen, is irony. (Exit Prologue) Adventurer: Tell you what, I can probably arrange a suitable merchant or you. Take some √ gold though -- those thieves know the value of a gold piece! As luck would √ have it, my last gold was swindled off me by a thieving priest, in some √ little town south of here. And I lost √ a lot of good stuff in a shipwreck √ just before that ... ÷ Shub: Well ... since you have agreed to help us ... we can spare some gold √ from the treasury, can't we, Shub? Shub: Oh! Oh yes, lots there ... always make more ... Adventurer: Now, I do need to know roughly where this site is, got to pick the right √ breed of horse, calculate my supplies √ to the last drop, figure out what √ weapons I might need ... supplies, √ like food, little things like that √ ... diameter of the cart wheels in √ square yurts ... ambush points for ÷√ the priests, in case they try to get √ up there ... mmmmm ... Shub: Tell you what - here is 500 gold. Go get things started. Shub: Yes ... we can always make some more. Shub: (aside, to Shub) Shut up! (Shub fires a spell at Shub that burns him to a cinder and then reconstitutes him) (to all) Excuse us ... where was I ... Oh ... get a merchant, guards, carts, whatever √ you think it will take. Come back if √ you need more. Shub: But what about those priests? ÷ Adventurer: I've an idea or two there. Let me get friendly with them - maybe hire a couple of good lamppost girls, lay in a few cases of holy wine ... I'll have them eating out of my hand in no time. And if you show me where this Fools' Ebony is ... why, I can misdirect them, send them straight √ into an trolls' den or something. Shub: You're the expert! Here, let me show you on a map ... and I don't need to √ mention Fire Daedras, do I? Adventurer: So ... seems to be ... hmmmm ... only thirty days there, this time of year. Maybe forty back, with the loads. Let √ me study this a bit more ... Shub: Can't take it with you, of course ... don't want this getting out now ... ÷ Adventurer: Oh no. That's fine. Look, let me have a bit more gold. Going to need √ some heavy-duty carts. See here, this section ... cut by all these washes √ ... hmmmm ... the flummox there will √ be something terrible ... Oh, and these ruins, full of ghosts, I bet √ ... hmmmm ... and this pass, just full √ of willies too ... Shub: If you say so ... My, seems that we picked the right man, right, Shub! Shub: Oh yes, indeed. Adventurer: So -- why don't I make arrangements, get back to you in ... er ... say a ÷√ week? Say -- sure that you don't want to √ come with me. After all, there's √ nothing like the wilderness life. √ Waking up with the sun, shaking off √ the frost. Catching an orc for breakfast - ever have orc guts √ fried over stinkwood? Oh, that's a √ treat! Checking each stream for √ dead giant spiders - or live ones! √ Imp jerky for lunch! Scanning the √ ridges for dragonlings! Standing √ guard against Ice Daedra in a ÷√ blinding snowstorm! Oh, what a life! Shub and Shub (Together): No, no ... we, we better stay here at the Guild. Got our duties after √ all ... someones got to mind the √ store ... someones got to get the √ word out to selected customers ... No, thank you kind Sir, it does √ sound such a lovely life, but I √ think we best be here ... yes, √ indeed ... Adventurer: A pity, gentlemen. Well, I'll be about it then. And don't worry if √ you see me with those priests -- ÷√ got to mislead and misdirect them, √ haven't I! Shub: One week, then! (Exeunt Shub, the Adventurer, and Shub) (Enter Epilogue) Epilogue: Shub and Shub, ladies and gentlemen. Implausibly retarded mages, yes, but √ perhaps there's something more to √ them than this act suggests. Do you √ think so, maybe? Well, if you are √ not in the theater for Part the √ Fourth, you won't know for certain, √ will you? Don't forget to tip your √ wenches and think on that while we ÷√ change the set. So Endeth Part the Three ÷
